It’s not that our parents told us money would make us happy. Most of us were told that money isn’t ‘everything’. We humans have this tendency to ignore words, then listen to actions.

When dad worked through the weekend, or mom gushed over that new diamond ring, we took something from that. A thing that makes us think, “The more money and things I have the happier I will be.” Every episode of E! True Hollywood Story reinforced that into our impressionable childhood personas. We’ve been given a mission: to consume and to take as much as we can. That is the highest honor.

“Let us work for dollars so that we may buy happiness!”

Somewhere down the road though, most of us realized it wasn’t true. Divorce, suicide, depression, Xanax, all these things gave us the hint that maybe money wasn’t that great after all. Still though, what else is there? It’s not like we’ve actually been given any other options.

We visit psychologists and psychiatrists. Trade sad little stories for prescriptions. Sometimes they make it better, sometimes the drugs do the job they’re supposed to. They’re just trying to get the levels in my brain right; that takes some time I suppose.

“One day they’ll find that perfect cocktail for me.”

I found out that the time I got lost in the grocery store as a child causes some of my problems and maybe somebody molested me as a kid. I’m going to hypno-therapy to find out. I’m learning how to tell a really good story. The more I realize everyone else screwed me over in life, the more reasons I have to cry, err, I mean be happy.

I found out that I’m in bondage to a spirit of happiness, that’s what they told me down at the first baptologist church of the fifth night. Monday night is deliverance night, Xenu showed up one time, and a picture of baby Jesus appeared in someone’s napkin after they wiped their mouth. He was in a cradle and everything, just like the nativity. I’m really hoping this deliverance session works out.

Someone told me a large donation will grease the palms of heaven, helping me out of this gosh darned happiness.

Governments create initiatives. Grand schemes to produce better fathers, reduce unwed mothers, rehabilitate people back into society. Never mind you that these seem to never work. All that is needed are bigger budgets. So raise taxes, increase budget deficits, and then once we’ve spent enough, we’ll be happy!

If I was only protected from those evil immigrants, dirty bombs, knives, drunk drivers, health concerns, tax dodgers, and dope peddlers. Then life would be great.

Has anybody seen my freaking prozac?

Politics, sex, love, divorce, suicide, drugs, religion. Wash, rinse, and repeat. Is it possible that something’s missing? Is it possible that somebody’s hiding something from us? Perhaps there’s a secret most people don’t know, perhaps we’re uninformed.

Maybe money isn’t really everything.

Is it possible that wanting something outside of ourselves, that striving to make a positive difference and having a little hope can make us into something better?

I’m living in Serbia right now, and the lack of hope is extremely apparent in most people here. When something bad happens I hear, “This is Serbia.” It’s as though being screwed over is something to be expected. People expect life to be crappy here, life tends to meet their expectations.

Throughout human history, different groups of people have said “Enough is enough.” People have decided that things must change, that the possibility of change is worth sacrificing everything for. Something strange happens in those moments. Things change when people ask for something better. At times only small changes occur, but in rare moments the entire world changes.

Could the reality of things be that we have to hope for more? That we have to expect more out of ourselves? Is demanding more out of life actually a good thing?

Can we make this world into a better place? Will those with hope band together? Will people chose to ignore the status quo?

I want to hope so.

I try to live for it. I try to show respect, to forgive, to look for the best in people. I try to remember that there’s more to this life than the television. I try to build something better, to give more and consume less. Sometimes I succeed.

I’ll keep living for those moments, and I hope maybe you’ll join me.

This didn’t seem too alarming until I realized that everything else that defined me would have to share the left over 43% of me: good & bad habits, my sense of humor (or lack of), where I work, the way I do the things I do, and why, etc… According to this estimate, I love machines so much, that every other quality about me, significant or insignificant, is less significant than technology. And what would be the ranking of someone like Robert Scroble? Assuming there is some logic to the rating, I think it’s safe to say that he would blow the 100% scale pretty easily.

It’s not so cool if a quiz that’s supposed to make me feel good, actually makes me look like a degenerate technophile who cares solely for the well being of his machines. The saddest thing about it is that geeks (the target audience) love quizzes like this, and some would even love to wear the “dysfunctional geek” badge on their sleeve with pride (I’ll confess, I vaguely remember trying to manipulate the results so I would rate a little higher).

Obviously that’s excessively unreal, but since you can’t exactly measure and quantify something as general, and vague as “geekiness” or “karma” with just 10 random questions, wouldn’t it be better to present a more believable estimate?

What about percentiles? Wouldn’t it be easier (and more fun and social) to compare people’s love for technology, and every piece of brand-spanking-new machines ever created (or their fear of same) to that of others? It would certainly be easier (for both the tongue and reputation) to boast of knowing more about technology than 75% of the population, rather than a vague “57% geek”, or the obscure “Total Geek” title.

Sure, at the end of the day, the quiz does the job: time died that day, and you’ll never see it again; but will I go back? Probably not, because it would be nice to have learned, or achieved something, even when procrastination reigns supreme, and time is being wasted (I personally prefer to think of it as research).

In lieu of painting an accurate picture, why not appeal to vanity, and paint the rosier option as the more likely scenario? After all, isn’t reality more accurately perception?

Interesting Extra: Did you know that the unit of geekiness is defined as a Zelda? Neither did I. While that sinks in, check out Wired’s Geekster Handbook for a primer on what it is to be “geek”.